10/02/2026: Innocent Until Proven Gaxor/Strixhaven D&D campaign

Strixhaven D&D campaign

The plan, such as it is, involves a lava pit. KFC barrels down the volcanic corridor with Professor Murgaxor slung under one arm, trussed in Debbie's rope and gagged for everyone's safety. Whatever else the professor is, he is a formidable spellcaster. Keeping him from speaking or using his hands is the only thing preventing arcane mischief.

The rest of the party follows at a run. Nobody notices the large bat coming down another cavern corridor with powerful downward strokes.

Until the bat becomes Dean Valentin. The Dean of Decay for Witherbloom College would sincerely like to know the meaning of this.

By "this," the group assumes he means the squirming, bound Professor Murgaxor that KFC is carrying like an angry green football.

The explanations arrive all at once and at top volume. It's a prank. They're good buddies with the professor. Murgaxor can't talk because he's carrying a highly contagious plague. Also, they are celebrating his birthday today, although it actually falls in the summertime. It could also be a case of demonic possession.

Valentin has known Murgaxor for fifty years and has been alive for considerably longer, and none of this moves him. With a flick of his fingers, he freezes KFC mid-stride with a Hold Person spell.

Humbly, Alistir steps forward to take the blame. Their wild fey nature overtook them, they explain. They tried to kill the professor, and these brave students were only carrying Murgaxor away to protect him.

Several of the Hexmates gasp. "Alistir, no!"

Valentin regards Alistir dubiously.

Very quietly, unseen in the hubbub, Alistir casts Message and sends a telepathic communication to the still-gagged Murgaxor: I know I attacked you and I wronged you, but you must remember that your father kidnapped my son and was using them as a slave. If you let these people go free, we'll never bother you again. Just let me give myself up in their stead.

Murgaxor's bulbous eyes find Alistir's. His expression gives the fey nothing.

By now, Valentin has turned to KFC. "I know you as a most reliable student. You are class valedictorian, a very intelligent young person. Why are you involved in… whatever this is?"

He leaves space for KFC to respond, clearly not clocking that she is not this timeline's KFC. He presses on. "What has come over you, KFC? Is this about the breakup with Rampart? I heard about that unfortunate event. Has it affected you this way?"

KFC, who has never dated Rampart and is not the valedictorian of anything in this timeline, agrees that it has. Alistir revises their story: they are possessing KFC. KFC promptly confirms this is the case.

Debbie, meanwhile, elbows Diro, points out a nearby patch of mud, and wonders aloud whether it could be used to silence, or possibly drown, anyone. Diro looks alarmed.

Down the hallway, hidden from this mess, Hester rolls her eyes. She thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, then checks herself: never say never. She watches the Alternate Reyna move up the hallway toward Dean Valentin.

Reyna steps out of the shadows. The dean regards the two identical Reynas with the mild interest of a man who knows most strange sights have an arcane explanation. This one, however, clearly puzzles him. "Ms. Reyna, I take it you do not usually have a twin? I thought not. An explanation, please."

Having moved on from the mud, Debbie mutters, "So I think we kind of got to get rid of Dean Valentin as well. He knows too much."

KFC looks shocked. "Yeah, when Murgaxor goes missing, Dean Valentin is going to know we had something to do with it. So he's got to go, too?"

Diro hisses back, "If Murgaxor goes missing and Dean Valentin goes missing and we leave this timeline, your poor doubles get arrested for murdering a couple of professors. We can't let that happen. Can we?"

No one has a response to this.

Diro has just spent a quiet moment horrified that he briefly considered murdering his own dean. Now he makes his case. "Dean Valentin, I was there. I went into Witherbloom's cellar. I helped free the doubles. It all happened. Also, my work paid off! My stand has finally manifested!"

He points to it with pride.

"Mr. Diro," says Dean Valentin, "frankly, I am surprised that you're with these people. Congratulations on the stand, but I think everyone agrees this is not the time to discuss your extracurricular project." Clearly working to remain calm, he continues. "I would like to hear from Professor Murgaxor. My boy, I am going to remove your gag. I am going to ask you not to cast anything. Do I have your solemn word?"

Over strenuous objection from the Hexmates, Valentin removes the gag. Murgaxor coughs, thanks the dean, and announces, "These students have taken your artifacts, Valentin!"

The artifacts are six figurines, pocketed earlier by Debbie, that look exactly like the party.

"They're us!" the Hexmates argue. "One of them is even a chicken!"

Dean Valentin shakes his head. "You know nothing of duergar religion. That is no chicken. It is a crudely carved cave eagle. These are the six minor gods of the duergar. These particular statuettes become iron golems, and any resemblance to anyone is purely academic."

The party responds by recounting the crimes of the other Murgaxor: the timeline, the attempted destruction of the Biblioplex, the kidnappings, the poisoned soup, and the enslavement of Squid, a point they make several more times for emphasis.

Murgaxor sputters. "That's a lie! You're telling lies about my father!"

⚔️

"Would a Zone of Truth be helpful?" Valentin does not wait for an answer. He conjures the field around himself, the Hexmates, and the unfortunate Murgaxor.

Once the spell is in place, the dean notes that Murgaxor has slipped free of it. He says nothing.

Debbie testifies first and, in the course of her testimony, confesses to murder, albeit in self-defense. There was soup. The dean observes that if things happened as Debbie believes they did, the Murgaxor who did all these terrible things is not, strictly speaking, the Murgaxor standing in front of her.

Under questioning, Murgaxor admits he is continuing his father's work on the unified field theory of magic, which was, he concedes, done incorrectly the first time. He also admits to locking several students in his basement with Orestes, a horned devil. He knew the party was coming, he explains, and needed time alone with this particular set of students. In hindsight, he allows, he could have done things differently.

This timeline's Reyna confirms that the experience was traumatic. Valentin, who knows Orestes personally and is sorry to hear it, asks whether she has been to campus counseling. She shakes her head. She has been busy.

The dean informs Murgaxor that he has applied for tenure and that these events will not help his case. Eyes narrowed, Valentin suggests that a resignation might be in order.

Murgaxor glares at the Hexmates and calls them meddling kids. Valentin asks that the statuettes be handed over for safekeeping. Then he checks his watch.

The sun will be up soon. They will resume this discussion at ten o'clock tonight in his office, where he hopes Professor Thenn of Chronomancy will look in on these students who seem to jump around in time so much. Murgaxor shoots the party a poisonous look and leaves with Dean Valentin.

Before they part, Alistir returns the stolen fire amulet. Murgaxor snatches it away.

"I want it noted," Alistir says, with as much dignity as they can gather, "that I only took this precious object after being set on fire."

⚔️

One errand remains, and Alistir begs the others to come along. The Hexmates would rather head back and rest, but Alistir insists.

Hester, rather grumpily, makes it clear she is not going for Alistir. She is going for Titania.

Near the duergar forge, close to the mouth of the cave, is the chamber that holds the entrance to the Underdark. Here the Guardian of the Entrance rests as a thin coating of ash on the floor. When the Hexmates enter, the ash swirls up and takes shape as a fire elemental.

The elemental is overjoyed to see its mother, Debbie, again. It is less overjoyed to hear that Alistir and Titania need some of its body, in the form of ash.

"I will do this for you, Mother," the elemental tells Debbie, "but I ask that you dismiss my charge. Fifty years ago, you tasked me with killing the bullywug Murgaxor. I did this for you, but I was not released to return to the Elemental Plane of Fire. Only now do I learn that the bullywug Murgaxor still exists. I cannot go home until my charge is complete and he is killed again."

A muddled discussion follows about how the two Murgaxors are, in fact, the same person. Debbie, who never knew that summoning the creature had kept it from going home, dismisses its charge. The party assures the elemental that killing even one Murgaxor makes it the most successful person they know.

In thanks, it offers Debbie a finger. It hugs her goodbye, carefully, and Debbie's leather jacket does not survive the hug. The elemental vanishes with a soft poof, leaving a small pile of ash, which Alistir collects in an empty healing potion bottle.

Alistir apologizes to the group for their hasty actions and offers monetary compensation. They have no money, someone points out. They can make some, Alistir replies. They are a king.

"You promised me a realm," says the crown.