The hexmates trudge through the corridors toward their dorm, their footsteps echoing off the stone walls. The scent of magical residue still clings to their robes from their sewer adventure. As they push through the heavy wooden door, Beckaylee stands in the center of the common room, hands clasped behind their back.
“My parents want me out of the hex,” Beckaylee announces without preamble. Their voice carries across the room like a dropped stone. “They think you’re all bad influences.”
The hexmates exchange glances, the silence stretching between them like a taut wire.
“So I’m withdrawing from school,” Beckaylee continues, their chin lifted defiantly. “I’m opening a vegan burger place just outside campus. ‘Beckaylee’s Plant-Based Patties.’” They grab their satchel from the table and head toward the stairs. “I need to pack. I’ll really miss you guys, but come and see me. Burgers on the house for the friends discount.”
The sound of Beckaylee’s boots on the spiral staircase fades, leaving the remaining hexmates standing in stunned silence.
The heavy door creaks open again, and Squid slips inside, practically bouncing on their toes. They balance a thick metal rod on the tip of one small, green finger, the object bristling with dials, knobs, and peculiar protrusions. The musty smell of sewage drifts from the artifact.
“This,” Squid declares with obvious pride, “is what Murgaxor wanted from the sewers.”
Titania leans forward, her nose wrinkling slightly. “What is it, Squid? Let me see it. Ah, yes. It appears to be some sort of rod, does it not?”
Squid’s eyes narrow into green slits as they nod. “It’s the Sewermancer’s Staff,” they whisper, their voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. The mischievous gleam in their eyes makes Titania shift uncomfortably. “Would you like to see what it does?”
Titania extends their hand, and Squid demonstrates how to twist the strange gem at the top. The rod telescopes to six feet with a series of metallic clicks and whirs. Knobs, gauges, and oddly-shaped spigots sprout from its rusty surface like mechanical flowers blooming. The gem at the top, large as a softball, remains clear except for an irregular brown blob suspended at its center. Ten dull yellow lights glow in a ring just below the odd gem.
“Maybe that indicates the number of charges the Sewermancer’s Staff has,” Reyna suggests, her voice cutting through the mechanical humming emanating from the device.
“Yes,” Squid nods enthusiastically. “It does a bunch of stuff. Do you want to see?”
The hexmates crowd closer around the staff.
Titania takes it and, following Squid’s urgent gesturing, steps into one of the shared bathrooms. The tiles feel cold beneath their feet. At Squid’s instruction, Titania taps the staff once against the floor.
The response comes instantly. Water gurgles and bubbles up through both sink and tub drains, while the two commodes begin overflowing with alarming enthusiasm. The smell of stagnant water fills the small space.
“Well!” Titania exclaims, tapping the staff again in panic. The water recedes with a satisfied slurp. “I suppose that could be handy to someone. Here, who else would like to play with such a… powerful item?”
Squid directs Reyna to point the staff out the window toward the distant fountain before the Biblioplex. The moment she aims it, a thick stream of pale yellow light shoots from the gem, arcing over the treetops towards the Biblioplex’s plaza.
Several hundred yards away, the fountain that is there erupts in a geyser that shoots fifty feet into the air before making an umbrella of falling water that drenches students studying on the library steps and crossing campus. Even from their distance, the hexmates hear indignant shouts echoing across the grounds.
Reyna whistles low. “Pretty cool. A powerful Command Water spell. I like it.”
Debbie reaches for the staff, her fingers finding the largest tap. “I wouldn’t do that, Debbie,” Squid warns, but their grin suggests they absolutely want her to do exactly that. “Twist it to the right and it shoots clean water…”
Debbie’s grin matches Squid’s. “And twist it to the left and it shoots… dirty? Is that right, Squid?”
Squid nods enthusiastically as KFC takes the staff.
“You’ll like this one, KFC,” Squid beams, pointing to a worn button beneath a large gauge. “Press here.”
The barbarian presses the button. A vibration moves through the air, subtle but persistent, like a tuning fork struck against stone. Nothing visible changes, but the air itself seems to hum with expectation.
“Give it a bit,” Squid says with satisfaction.
From Hester’s open window, a parade of creatures begins: two large rats with twitching whiskers, three bushy-tailed squirrels, and several mice with bright black eyes. They hop through the window and scurry to sit attentively at KFC’s feet, their tiny claws clicking against the wooden floor.
KFC’s eyes widen with recognition. “Like my old Hat of Vermin,” she marvels.
“Yup,” Squid agrees. “Now give them something to do!”
“Bring me acorns,” KFC commands. The rodents race back through the window and return moments later, cheeks bulging and tiny paws clutching acorns of various sizes.
“This is great,” KFC mumbles around a mouthful of acorns, her words muffled by enthusiastic crunching.
“It’s time to go meet the Deans,” Debbie grumbles, checking the position of the sun through Hester’s open window.
The group files out of their dorm, boots clattering on the iron steps of the central spiral staircase in the dormitory tower. As they move along the tree-lined paths toward the Prismari Administration building, they pass an unusual number of squirrels frantically rattling branches on the campus oaks, their chattering filling the air with urgent squeaks and clicks.
⚔
The plush conference room smells of leather and old wood. Dean Uvilda Mistcoiler and Dean Nasari sit in carved chairs at the head of a table that seems to stretch for miles. Orange streaks swirl through Dean Uvilda’s normally sky-blue mists, betraying her agitation despite her composed posture.
“Strixhaven security has reported a very large sinkhole that has opened on the eastern side of Prismari campus,” she begins without preamble, her voice carrying the chill of mountain air. “This sinkhole reveals the sewers that serve Strixhaven. Further, they sighted several students emerging from this sinkhole. Security identifies you as these students.”
Her grey eyes flash as she crosses her pale blue arms. “This is not your first transgression on Strixhaven Campus.”
Dean Nasari starts to reach toward their fellow dean, then thinks better of it, their fiery hand stopping mid-gesture. “Now, Uvilda, let’s hear what they have to say. Students, pray tell us how you came to be in such a dangerous—and I might add, out-of-bounds—location, and if you were in any way responsible for the formation of such an enormous sinkhole?”
Alister begins weaving an elaborate tale that bears no resemblance to actual events, but Hester steps forward, her talons clicking on the polished floor.
“It was me,” she says quietly.
Dean Uvilda’s eyes widen until they’re perfectly round. “You, Ms. Slightfeather? You are a talented painter! How did you come to be in the… sewers?” The pause before ‘sewers’ drips with revulsion.
Hester’s voice drops to barely a whisper. “Did you ever learn a spell then want to use it? I learned Fireball, but have never gotten to cast it…” She gulps audibly. “I wanted to see how it worked. I cast it and the roof of the cavern came down. I’m really, really sorry.”
Dean Uvilda flushes crimson while Dean Nasari wears a distant, almost entranced expression.
“Ms. Slightfeather,” Dean Nasari steps forward with an indulgent smile, “you will fill the sinkhole hazard using any means at your disposal by next week or face expulsion.”
⚔
Their warnings about Murgaxor fall on deaf ears, dismissed as deflection tactics. The hexmates trudge back to their dorm, reassuring Hester they’ll help with the monumental task ahead.
Outside their building, a steady stream of squirrels, mice, and rats flows in and out of Hester’s fifth-floor window like a fuzzy highway.
In the common room, Quintillius paces frantically, his usually perfect hair disheveled. “Thank the gods you’re back! What do you have going on in your hex?!”
Two acorns bounce down the spiral staircase and roll to KFC’s feet. “I think I know what’s up,” she says grimly.
They race up five flights to find their door bulging outward, acorns popping from its straining sides like oversized seeds.
“This could be bad,” KFC mutters.
“Where is Squid?” Titania asks, panic creeping into their voice.
KFC yanks the door open. Thousands—possibly millions—of acorns cascade out in a nutty avalanche, tumbling across the landing and down the staircase. The hexmates grab the railing as the tide of acorns threatens to sweep them away. From below come the cries of students being buried in the common room.
“Squid!” Titania cries, swimming through the flowing nuts. A small green hand emerges from a mountain of acorns in the corner, waving weakly.
“Right!” KFC shouts over the cascading noise. “Vermin, over here!”
A dozen squirrels and an equal number of rats, mice, voles, and chipmunks arrange themselves before her, their whiskers twitching attentively despite the chaos.
“This has been a fantastic trophic cascade you’ve created, friends,” KFC tells them in a low voice, struggling to stay upright on the shifting dunes. “Look, we’ve had a good run, a fantastic run, even. But they’ve caught on to us and I won’t have a single one of you negatively affected by consequences.”
She gives them detailed directions in whispers out of the hearing of her hexmates, and the creatures scamper off through the acorn-filled room and out Hester’s window..
“Remember to share the instructions with the others!” KFC calls after them.
Hours later, as they study in the common room, Quintillius heads out with his camera slung around his neck. “I’m going to take photos—an ‘after’ to the ‘before’ of the sinkhole. Apparently, the squirrels around campus have stored so many acorns in the sinkhole, it’s filled completely and become a small hill.”
Hester smiles and murmurs her thanks to KFC. Later, despite the damage to the door, not a single acorn is visible in the rooms of their hex.
