The group continue to speed through the darkness, following a breeze that may mean a way out. Mr C and Five, who is riding on the rooster, get to a fork in the tunnel and head to the right. Mr C stops abruptly as he detects the whispering of a pair of topi, who hide behind the prone inert iron golem. Slowly, carefully, he has his Unseen Servant bring the fire it ignited earlier, allowing Five and his now sentient rooster to see. Several topi faces peer at them from over the inert war machine they are repairing. They disappear, safe behind the covered of the armored giant.
Vali and Reklaw follow the leftward fork, and also stop short. An enormous, red-skinned devil stands framed in the arch, its back to them. Beyond it is the way out of the system of tunnels. The creature has six arms, sprouting in pairs from its sides. Each hand seems to clutch either pen or clipboard. Curls of affixed parchment flutter loudly in the haste the creature is working, making notes at a rapid pace.
Suddenly the creature stops and swivels its head completely around to peer down the tunnel in the direction of the friends. Narrowing its pupiless eyes at Vali, missing Reklaw entirely, and calls out, “Unauthorized entities detected. Section 7, Paragraph 12 of the Dis Incursion Protocols clearly states that all passage through designated resource facilities requires prior written approval from the Office of Territorial Security or a Form 666-B signed by an accredited representative of Lord Dispater’s bureaucracy. Approach and present your paperwork for authorization!”
He turns his body to face Vali, adjusting his spectacles and snapping his clawed fingers. The pens and clipboards disappear with the gesture. Vali passes the hiding Reklaw, concealed behind an outcrop of rusty looking stone. The hidden monk can clearly hear the devil continue to intone officiously, “I am Hexathix, Requisition Master, Second Circle, appointed overseer of the Pit of Potential Resources. Present your authorization!”
Not wishing to get too close to the imposing devil, Vali calls back from his position up the tunnel, “I have a contract from Magrix of Avernus, who sent me here.”
”Approach and present your papers!”
Reluctantly, Vali comes closer to Hexathix. As the devil reads the contract, Vali is able to study the devil more closely. Hexathix stands at approximately seven feet tall. His skin is fiery red, on which fine geometric patterns seem etched. His most distinctive feature is his six arms, arranged in three symmetrical pairs along his torso. Each hand has long, ink-stained fingers ending in long, sickle-shaped black claws. Four ribbed horns curve elegantly up and backward from his forehead, engraved with infernal symbols. They are wrapped with thin chains holding small charms that jangle above Hexathix’s long, angular face. Deeply set eyes that glow amber behind small iron-rimmed spectacles.
He compresses his lips then rears back officiously at Vali, “A magical transportation from Avernus? Without proper interdepartmental transfer documentation? This is most irregular. Most irregular indeed. This ‘contract’ has no standing in Dispater’s realm! Therefore, you are currently trespassing in a restricted facility!”
Hexathix pulls out a fresh scroll and licks the tip of his pen. He continues, “Name?”
”Fiveshockinglyshockingfactsthatwillshocktherocksoutofyoursock,” lies Vali.
“Is that ‘Five’ spelled with an ‘f’ or a ‘ph’?” asks Hexathix, focused on the parchment.
From down the tunnel, Five hears his name and calls out, “What do you want? I’m over here!”
Hexathix becomes immediately vigilant and demands of Vali, “Are you here…illegally, I might add… with others?”
”Um….yes.” Vali calls to his friends, who cautiously approach the imposing figure of Hexathix. The Devil begins to record information about these new arrivals. “Name? Planar origin? Soul status—bound, free, or contractually obligated?”
Five stammers, “I don’t know anything about this…”
Pen scratching at the parchment, Hexathix snarls to Five, “Is that ‘I’ like the letter or ‘I’ like your eyeball?”
Confused, Five sputters, “What? I…”
“Surname: ‘What.’ Given name: ‘I..d..o..n..t..”.
The painful interview continues until Hexathix conducts his routine soul audit of the halfling and his rooster. The rooster tells Five, “I don’t know that this seems particularly fair…,” and scuttles to hide at the back of the group.
The devil’s expression shifts from bureaucratic indifference to wide-eyed shock when he peers down at Five, realizing the halfling has no soul at all. His spectacles slide down his nose as all six hands freeze mid-motion. The clipboards he clutches begin to tremble and the quill he holds snaps in the tightening grip of one of his many hands.
“What is THIS?! You bear the classification markers of the NINTH CIRCLE?! This is COMPLETELY unacceptable! Do you have ANY comprehension of the jurisdictional CATASTROPHE you’ve created by entering my facility?! Souls already claimed for NESSUS passing through a SECOND CIRCLE processing center without interdepartmental transfer documentation?!”
A vein pulses visibly on his forehead as he slams all his ledgers closed simultaneously.
Hexathix, practically hissing: “I am looking at a MINIMUM of seventeen different protocol violations! Form 892-C explicitly forbids transit of lower-circle claimed souls through higher-circle domains without appropriate escort from the claiming authority! Where is your Nessian handler? WHERE IS YOUR HANDLER?!”
He begins pacing in mid-air, his robes billowing with infernal energy without giving the party a chance to answer.
Hexathix continues his rant, “Do you realize I will have to file a Jurisdictional Overlap Report? IN NONUPLICATE! Each copy requiring the signature of a different Duke of Hell! The paperwork alone will take over 600 hours of administrative processing!”
Stopping suddenly, Hexathix widens his eyes with a dawning hopefulness. His voice drops to a dangerous whisper, hisses, “Unless… this transit is NOT transit at all!"
The temperature in the room plummets as frost forms on the walls and floors around the party.
“Perhaps, we could come to an arrangement that wouldn’t necessitate…,” Hexathix leans toward the group, his voice suddenly silky ”… bringing this administrative oversight to the attention of higher authorities? The paperwork for ‘contract laborers’ is significantly less cumbersome than that for ‘unaccompanied soul for Nessus recipient,’ and therefore Lord Asmodeus himself need never know…,”
Hexathix, who had seemed to be talking to himself, wheels and hisses at the group, “Do you possess any legally binding contracts that specifically FORBIDS laboring within another Circle of Hell?! This would be unusual but not unheard of.”
The question is met with the blank stares of the party. Vali very slightly shakes his head and gasps, “I don’t think so…,”
Hexathix smiles, then looks at them sternly, straightening his robes and composes himself with visible effort. He slides his spectacles back up the bridge of his long nose before saying in a businesslike manner, “We shall discuss the terms under which this catastrophic violation might be… re-classified."
The question is again met with the blank stares of the party.
The devil continues, “I am responsible for exactly 247 lemures awaiting processing and 16 iron golem constructs in various stages of repair. It might be possible that you assist the pit technicians with their workload. For a time.”
Hexthix shows the party to a side cavern that contains two partially disassembled iron golem and two wary topi holding tools. “Shall we say, three decades…no, two. Lord Asmodeus might notice if you lingered here too very long…,” mutters the devil, making notes on one of his many clipboards.
Realizing that the shrinking spell placed on their hell tank is about to expire, Kiki gestures for the grouop to back up then tosses the tiny vehicle onto the floor in front of Hexathix, who looks down at it and snarls, “What?! No littering!”
This is the last thing the unfortunate devil will ever say to the party. With a flash of blue light, the tank is restored to its actual size. The shrieking of metal compacting against the rust colored rock tells the friends that the tank has filled every available inch of the tunnel, sealing them in.
The party is fortunate to possess two artificers and Reklaw’s bag of parts. Kiki and Mr C spend the next few hours salvaging what they can from the tank, entering the remains of the tank through one of the gun ports. They discover the rear hatch of the tank can be pried open, allowing them access to the tunnel's exit on the far side of the tank. From the remains of the tank, Kiki and Mr C are able to assemble a nearly complete vehicle, smaller but servicable. And they have been able to save some of the hell tank's weaponry.
They have named the newly constructed conveyance 'The Grinder.' Kiki discovers the final Soul Coin in her pack. The Grinder will run, but for how long?
While the others rest or labor, Five and Reklaw spend a bit of time teaching martial combat they have named fancifully ‘talon-do’ to Five’s rooster, who is a quick learning.
What the next phase of their journey brings is a worry for another time, when they set out for the Iron City of Dis.
